By Lisa M. Belisle, MD, MPH
Originally published February 1, 2007, Community Leader

My daughter Sophie was a Valentine’s Day baby. Born six years ago this month, she believes that every heart-themed item ever created was specially designed in celebration of her birthday. I have not yet attempted to disabuse her of this notion: Sophie truly is the child of my heart. Her siblings, Campbell and Abigail are no less so. My children remind me daily of how integral love is to keeping each of us alive.

Love, like other strong emotions, has perhaps more impact on our physical selves than we realize. In 2005, an article appeared in the New England Journal of Medicine (NEJM) describing patients who had suffered heart attacks after being exposed to sudden, severe emotional stress. These stressors, including the death of a loved one, led to an outpouring of adrenaline and other hormones that temporarily stunned their hearts. This was called the ‘broken heart syndrome.’

To most of us, the ‘broken heart syndrome’ intuitively makes sense. Our bodies are the vessels of our emotions. When we are sad, our flesh manifests our emotional pain: we feel as if our hearts are breaking. Antoine de Saint-Exupery observed “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye.” While he likely meant this in a metaphorical sense, the NEJM study showed that this may also be literally true. Our hearts—our bodies—are often able to understand things that our minds have difficulty comprehending.

Neither our hearts, nor our minds, could easily comprehend the recent loss of one of our community’s most beloved members: Hanley Denning. The founder of Safe Passage, an organization dedicated to helping impoverished Guatemalan children, she died on January 18th. Her death at age thirty-six occurred one day before my own 36th birthday. I had known Hanley for almost twenty years. We met in a summer program for high school students, and become college classmates at Bowdoin. The sorrow of her passing caused an ache in my heart.

Attending her memorial service, I knew that my pain was shared by many. A thousand hearts ached in the Yarmouth High School gym that day; countless more were aching around the world. Yet, even as we felt sorrow, we knew that Hanley would not have wanted our hearts to grieve. Her life was about happiness. It was about love. She loved the little children at the Guatemalan dumps, and she believed that they were no less worthy of a healthy, educated life than those of us who live in relative comfort here.

Hanley translated her love into action, letting nothing deter her. One of the final songs at her service was “Be Not Afraid,” which includes the line “You shall speak your words in foreign lands and all will understand.” When Hanley spoke, whether in Spanish or English, she was understood. Her message was easily translated. It was, again, about loving one another. We must love those around us—both near and far. Hanley had what individuals in the field of psychology and medicine call “conscious positive expectation.” This is also known as a positive outlook, optimism, or in some parlances, hope. Hanley believed in herself and she believed in others. She believed in something greater than us all.

Hanley’s hope—her belief in the power of herself and others—touched everyone she met. Another of the songs at her service was John Lennon’s “Imagine.” One could almost hear her speaking as we listened to the words:

Imagine no possessions,
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
Nor folk with empty hands
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world.

Hanley made friends across the globe, and called on each of them to love the Guatemalan children as she did. More often than not, people responded. They gave of their money and of their time. They joined together in hosting ‘school supply drives,’ benefit concerts and fundraising runs. They built a towering castle of support for Safe Passage from the foundation of Hanley’s love.

In encouraging us to build this castle of support for Safe Passage, Hanley was doing more than benefiting the children of Guatemala. She was also benefiting us. Called ‘Angel del Basuero,’ or ‘Angel of the Garbage Dump,’ she was our angel as well. She brought us together, and in doing so, made our lives richer. Countless studies exist on the importance of social contacts in maintaining health and surviving illness. By giving us an excuse to connect with one another, Hanley Denning was adding years to our lives.

Hanley Denning’s physical life was over far too soon. She lives on, however, in the children she served and in the individuals who served those children with her. She lives on in all of us who understand the importance of love. Just as Sophie, Campbell and Abigail are the children of my heart, the Guatemalan youngsters were the children of Hanley’s heart. This Valentine’s Day, let us remember these children—and let us remember to love one another. Our hearts will be stronger for it.

For more information on Safe Passage, or to make a donation, visit: www.safepassage.org.