By Lisa M. Belisle, MD, MPH
Originally published January/February 2010, Parent & Family
All Schoolhouse Rock followers know that “Three is a Magic Number.” According to the classic Saturday morning ditty, three is useful in the world of triangles, tricycles and tripods. Singer Jack Johnson reminds us that three is also linked to environmental awareness, as in “Reduce, Reuse, Recycle.” Yes, three is marvelous for many things--including behavior change. Need to lose weight, stop smoking or start exercising? Think three.
In “Monkey See, Monkey Do: Parents as Healthy Role Models” (Parent and Family, November/December 2009), we ask readers to consider three questions:
--What health habits do I want my children to have?
--What values do I want my children to learn?
--How I want my children to interact with others?
Then we ask readers to remove the word “my children.” By doing so, we are acknowledging that the best way to change the behavior of others is to begin with ourselves. This is especially true of our kids.
Our kids learn how to act by mimicking our actions. This process begins in the brain. Recent studies have shown that our brains contain cells called “mirror neurons.” When we do something positive in front of our children--such as eating well or exercising--their mirror neurons are activated. Their little brains are stimulated as if they, themselves, are eating well and exercising.
Knowing that we are stimulating our children’s mirror neurons may not be enough to motivate us to make changes in our own health habits. In fact, this might make the task that much more daunting. When we are aware that others are watching us, behavior change can feel particularly overwhelming.
Enter the magic of three.
Consider three aspects of the situation: your past, present and future. First, consider your goal. Do you need to reach a more appropriate weight? Would you like to stop smoking? Decide what you would like to do, and when you would like to accomplish it. This is your future.
Once you can visualize the future, focus on the present. Do you need to make an appointment to see your doctor, call a tobacco helpline or join a weight loss support group? Break these activities into very small steps, such as “pick up the phone.” These are the tasks on which you will begin working immediately.
To motivate yourself to begin working, look into your past. Collect examples of previous successes. If you are reading this article, chances are that you have either been pregnant with, given birth to, adopted or are caring for a child. These are very important successes (and possibly one of the reasons you are seeking to make a change). Place pictures of your children on your refrigerator or bulletin board--or in a journal, if you need a more private spot. Supplement the photos with awards you may have won, or copies of diplomas you may have earned.
As you look at your photos, awards and diplomas, be reminded of how you accomplished those goals. Who or what circumstances assisted along the way? A loving family? A college scholarship? In honor of these, label the display “Gratitude,” or something similarly meaningful. Affix your list of goals and tasks nearby.
This is the third, most powerful, aspect of the plan.
When we remember that we have reached our goals in the past, future goals do not seem as unattainable. The present comes more clearly into view, and tasks seem manageable. We realize our own mirror neurons have likely benefitted from the past behaviors of others, and that we have the ability to do the same for our children.
Behavior change is easy. Just remember (in the famous words of Jack and the Schoolhouse Rock gang): Three is a magic number. Yes, it is. It’s a magic number.
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